Executives and managers today are increasingly acknowledging that laughter is good not only for personal health and well-being, but for career success and overall workplace wellness as well. Around the office, laughter can motivate and facilitate team building, improve stress management, and increase productivity and morale.
In other words, business can (and should) be a laughing matter.
In traditional mystical teachings, enlightenment means it’s all over. You have reached the end of becoming. But in an evolutionary teaching, enlightenment is where it all begins. Everything begins when you become enlightened. That’s when you become available—free from narcissism and self-concern and available for the noble endeavor of creating the future. That’s when a new life opens up before you. That’s when the work of evolutionary becoming starts. So you want to get to that point quickly, because there is so much you want to do once you get there. There is so much you want to take responsibility for. There is so much you want to create.
~ Andrew Cohen
I was reminded of this video today, Kick Out the Ladder philosophy at Honda – allowing people to rise to their own greatness and setting goals that at first seem impossible.
If your goal is too easy to meet, you’re not challenging yourself.
Meditation is not a technique but a way of life. It’s not something to be done, but rather it’s about not doing anything. It’s about being present, free of any scattered thoughts and the activity of the mind is reduced to one.
It’s not about getting away from it all. It’s real purpose is to tune in, not just to de-stress, but to find that peace within that passes all understanding. It’s about getting into the space between your thoughts which is reported as the vortex to the infinite mind – core consciousness. In that place is said to be the field of infinite possibilities, infinite creativity and imagination, and where the power of intention lies.
Eckhart Tolle encourages us to let go of the preconceived notions and expectations of “doing” a meditation. He states that “Being underlies all doing”. This is what meditation does for us in our daily lives – brings us back to a place of Being, of Consciousness, which is always the precursor for doing anything.
Meditation, he explains, is a realization of your Being, of the “I Am” that is within each and every one of us, and is the recognition of the one life, the one consciousness that unifies everything. Eckhart explains that constant and compulsive thinking and identification with the mind leads our attention away from Being and into expressions of our being: thoughts, emotions, sense perceptions, physical possessions, what he calls “ripples” on the surface of life.
Plan
Start by knowing your audience. Who are they? What do they really want or need to know? What is their vocabulary? How much do they know already? What works with them? Be clear also on your purpose; distill that purpose into one sentence. Keep all of this in mind as you develop the structure and content of your speech and choose visuals that support—and don’t sabotage—your purpose. And don’t forget to build into your presentation ways to involve the mind and body of the audience.
Practice
The more you rehearse, the more confident you’ll feel and the more natural you’ll sound. A solid suggestion is to memorize at least the first four minutes. Tape and time yourself. Be aware of your “vocal color,” the pitch, pace, punch and passion of your delivery. Observe and analyze your posture, appearance, gestures, eye contact and energy level. The goal is not to script every movement or rise in volume, but to become aware enough in the moment to notice yourself and what you’re doing while you’re in front of your audience. Watch and listen to other speakers; see what works and what doesn’t.
Fear Not
If you would rather die than speak in front of others, remember this: Speaking is about them (your audience), not you. It’s about communicating to the people who want or need what you know. You are the channel for this information, nothing more. When you speak in service of your message, fear dissipates remarkably.
Prepare
Find techniques that work for you to help you warm up your body and voice, calm your mind and inspire your attitude. Prepare for the most difficult questions that might come up during Q&A. Above all, look and sound like you mean what you’re saying. Own the power of your knowledge, of your performance.
As Marian K. Woodall says in her book, Speaking to a Group: Mastering the Skill of Public Speaking: “Speakers have power; GREAT speakers have GREAT power.”
Speaking well in front of an audience is no longer just a great skill to have, a “plus” in the business world. Whether you’re selling a product, submitting a progress report, presenting research results, training or motivating your team, or delivering a keynote address at a business conference, speaking skills are almost expected and are certainly an essential tool for success.
The good news is that public speaking is a measurable skill that can be mastered, not a gift doled out to only a few charismatic individuals.
And the better news is that when you master public speaking, you advance your career. That’s because speaking helps you:
• Strengthen your leadership position.
• Build your personal brand, gaining recognition, visibility and respect.
• Increase your influence, as you put forth your ideas and information.
• Enhance your ability to promote your company and its products or services.
There are numerous books on public speaking, all offering valuable information and different angles on the topic.
Spaciousness is a way of being that reflects unlimited ability and opportunity. It’s a moving away from a scarcity or a lack mentality to an abundance mentality.
Pursuing personal growth with dedication increases spaciousness. It is the ability to achieve greater perspective. In other words, being able to see and understand a greater amount then previously.
A practical application of creating spaciousness is to continue your learning.
Make a list of books you want to read, audios you want to listen to, and seminars that you want to attend.
Turning “Feedback” into “Food for Thought”
Taking the dread out of receiving feedback can happen with as little as a simple twist of words (“I wonder what’s going to happen” instead of “I worry about what’s going to happen”) and a slight shift in beliefs (“All feedback is a gift”). Here are some guidelines that can help transform feedback into food for thought:
Track your own reactions. Recognize your emotions and responses. What body sensations, thoughts, emotions arise? Recognize that whatever arises in your mind is your own responsibility. It is not the other person’s fault you are responding as you are. You get to choose how you think and how you respond. When we own our own reaction, it opens the way for genuine communication with the other person.
Get support. Though it may be difficult to identify, you may feel inhibited and ashamed upon hearing feedback that requires change. Ask trusted friends to listen, encourage and offer suggestions. Work with a coach. Even in settings in which people are expected to be self-reliant (such as many jobs), it’s nearly impossible to make significant change without such encouragement.
Listen with an open mind and heart. Begin by acknowledging that the perception of the person giving feedback is the reality that needs to be looked at. Without confirming or denying the perception of that person, simply listen and take in what he or she has to say.
Change defensiveness to curiosity. Don’t explain or defend yourself. It may be appropriate to bring the subject up later, if explanations are appropriate. For now, though, say the three magic words: “Tell me more!” What has the person giving you feedback observed? What does that person expect or want you to do differently? Don’t assume you know what the other person means…ask questions to clarify your understanding.
Regard all feedback as an act of generosity. Feedback can help you recognize habitual styles that may need to change. It can help you reexamine how you are living your life. It is a wonderful gift. Consider offering sincere appreciation for to the bearer of feedback, even acknowledging how difficult it may have been to deliver the news.
Focus on the message not the packaging. There may be times when feedback is given harshly or by someone with whom we struggle, or there is a mixture of truth and personal distortion in what we are told. Forget about what package the message comes in; what is the message? How can you penetrate to the truth contained in the feedback? What can you learn? Contemplation is a critical step to integrate the message.
Reframe the feedback. When we put feedback in a positive light, negative emotions and responses lose their grip. For example, you could see the feedback on your presentation as a way to improve your chances of promotion, leading you to improve your skills in various ways. Or, the feedback may point you to greater personal success in a position that does not require presentation skills.
The bottom line: Taking feedback to heart puts you in responsibility and takes you out of helplessness or victim. It may require ruthless self-honesty and a little detective work, but the payoff is high.
More – Typical Reactions to Feedback
Lash out. Anger is the first reaction for some. Get off my back, will you? How dare you criticize me, you of all people! I thought you were my friend.
Criticize. We go on the offensive through blame, innuendo or other unsolicited comments. I never believe anything those hotshots have to say. You know how it is in that department.
Self-destruct. We turn all our negative reactions inward against ourselves. I am such a loser. I’ll never get it right. I’m never doing another presentation.
All of these reactions serve to distract us from painful feelings of not being good enough, as well as the notion that we need to change in some way. But adapting to feedback—which inevitably asks us to change, and sometimes significantly—is critical if we are to succeed in our jobs, our marriages, our family relationships.
Typical Reactions to Feedback
When given difficult feedback, most of us find that we do one or more of the following:
Pretend. We say little, disguise any hurt or humiliation, push the feelings way down and eventually act like it never happened. Thank you so much for sharing that.
Defend. We justify our actions, give explanations, point out reasons. There was so much happening last week, I didn’t end up with nearly the time I needed to prepare. Oh, and the microphone wasn’t working so well today.
Deny. Denial automatically makes the other person wrong. I didn’t see a problem; I’m great at what I do.
Interrogate. We ask for proof that there is any truth to the feedback. Well, if you want me to understand what you’re trying to get at, I’ll need some specific examples.
All of these reactions serve to distract us from painful feelings of not being good enough, as well as the notion that we need to change in some way. But adapting to feedback—which inevitably asks us to change, and sometimes significantly—is critical if we are to succeed in our jobs, our marriages, our family relationships.
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